Pennies from Heaven

Regardless of your spiritual inclination, aside from those atheists among us, we all like to believe that our long gone loved ones are watching over us.  I'm not knocking the atheists out there, I think everyone should do what makes them feel good.  And it makes me feel good to think that my grandparents, great aunts and uncles, and great grandparents are watching over me.  The whole post might seem bizarre to some people, and if you think I'm crazy after reading this, that's ok with me.  I love you all anyway!

Almost everyone has heard the phrase "pennies from heaven" at some point.  (I didn't realize it was a song and a movie too!).  For anyone who hasn't heard of it, it can mean different things to different people.  Some people believe that angels are sending you blessings.  I don't believe that money is magically appearing, but I do believe that my loved ones might tap me on the shoulder, so to speak, and draw my attention to the loose change around me as a way of saying hi. And in my family, it isn't pennies, but dimes in particular that seem to pop up in weird places, and in weird ways.

A little back story:  My grandfather, Sal, passed away when my mother and aunt were very young.  My grandfather collected dimes unknown to other family  members.  Sometime after he passed, I believe it was my aunt that had a dream about dimes and it was involving the closet.  When my nani checked the closet, she found a box of dimes.  I don't think I got that story quite right, but either way, that seemed to be the start of the dimes in my family.

A few years ago, I started noticing dimes regularly.  My husband thought I was strange, reading too much into things, looking too hard for signs, etc, but he humored me until a particular incident.  I was standing in line in CVS drugstore, with an armful of items.  Looking around, everything was fairly still and I was a few people back from the only open register. There was rustling beside me, and I felt a tap on the shoulder from the 20 something man behind me in line.  As I turned around, he smiled at me.  He held out his hand and said "I found this dime, do you want it?"  I  look down at the dime, smiled back, and said "That's so nice, but you can keep it.".  This exchange made me smile for the rest of the day.  I found it odd that a stranger would offer me a dime at random, when there were other people in the line, and no one was visibly rummaging in their bags for payment.  At least if it was "Did you drop this?" I would have brushed it off as coincidence.  Even my skeptical husband had to admit that it was an unlikely event.

The other day, I was feeling a little down and I happened to find two dimes within an hour. My mood improved after the second one, because I felt like that was my nani's way of telling me there was no reason to feel crummy.  I think we all need a boost from time to time.  Keeping a positive attitude is something I strive to do. 

Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you're going to live your life.
~Joel Osteen

Winter and incoming S.A.D.

 “I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says "Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass
 
Fall feels like it is winding down, which fills me with melancholy and a pinch of dread.  I generally don't enjoy winter.  It's far too cold, dark, and wet for my comfort level.  I like staying home, wrapped up in an electric blanket on my sofa, reading a romance novel, and sipping tea, instead of venturing outside to do things like going to work, grocery shopping, posting mail, etc.  The desire to cocoon is particularly high when it gets dark at 4pm and if there is snow or rain in the air.  However, life goes on and items on my "to do" list must get accomplished eventually.

As a counselor by profession, I feel like my own mental health gets neglected at times.  It's extremely easy to get sucked in to your client's drama, and feel very emotionally attached to outcomes.  The burnout level is high with this profession.  Mental health is like physical health in a lot of ways....you do have to take care of it, maintain it, routinely do things that keep you feeling good.  For everyone, the details of how or what to do, are going to be different.  You just gotta figure out what works!

This year, I want to do things differently.  I have a plan for fending off winter seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D).

• Wake up earlier.  Since it starts getting dark when I go to work around 4pm, I am much more productive if I get up around 8am and have a full day of daylight.
• Get outside as much a possible.  On those days when it is sunny and slightly less frigid, being outside makes me feel good.  Even if its going for a quick walk around the block, filling the bird feeders, sweeping the walkway, or picking up twigs in the yard.
• Eat healthier.  I don't like feeling fat and lethargic, even though I crave comfort foods more often during winter.  This year I want to eat less sweets, mashed potatoes, etc.  Thankfully, I don't bake much or buy a lot of junk food, and being gluten free will keep me mostly safe from temptation at holiday parties.
• Drink lots of water.  One of the top causes of daytime fatigue is actually dehydration!  The more you know....
• Stay productive.  As much I'd like to loaf all day and read romance novels, I still have to get work done and do things like dishes *shudder*.  I like making lists, but it's important to keep a daily list short enough that it doesn't feel overwhelming, AND you can realistically get most of it done.  Break down larger tasks into smaller bits (clean the whole house becomes vacuum living room, dust bedroom, clean toilet, etc.). And if I don't get to everything on the list, it moves to the top on the next day.  
• Enjoy down time.  Be a little selfish and take time to do what you love, even when your plate is full and job or family pull you in all directions.  I must have the iPod in the car to blast on the way to client's homes.  When I get home from work, I take time to decompress by surfing the web or playing a game before I delve into evening chores.  When I'm laying in bed, I clear my head by playing word games or sodoku.  I need to be better at doing these things throughout the winter to keep my spirits high. 

Hopefully my plan will help me feeling like blogging more, among other things.  This month has been stressful and jam packed, and I feel like I've been moving at full speed since August.  I'm determined to take back the reins and make some mood boosting improvements before the holidays kick in full blast!

Two things to look forward to:  Seeing The Hobbit and Lincoln in the theaters! 

“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
― Abraham Lincoln

Happy Halloween!

Thinking back on past Halloweens lately has been fun.  I've dressed up as a Powerpuff Girl, a nun, a vampire, naughty Little Miss Muffet (not my proudest moment), just to name a few.  I am kind of looking forward to kids so I can get back into planning costumes again. The idea of doing family themed costumes with my husband and kids, really appeals to me.  I haven't really had much of a desire to dress up the last few years....partially due to lack of time and pre-planning, partially because there are less people having Halloween parties after age 30.

As a kid, my birthday parties were almost always Halloween themed since my birthday is Nov. 3rd.  I can't remember the last time I had a birthday party...or really dressed up for Halloween.  Last year, (or possibly the year before, I can't remember), I slapped on my Renaissance Faire dress and put on a long blond wig to pass out candy.  The turnout in my neighborhood was extremely lackluster, even though there are kids in the neighborhood.  I wound up eating half the candy.  This year, I'll be leaving the porch light off.

And most unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to eat most of the candy I like anyway.  So many hidden sources of gluten!  Since today is the last day of the old Celiac Awareness Month, I found a neat info-graphic about gluten free (see below...I put it a the end because it's HUGE).  What really amazed me was the cost difference, of which I have been acutely aware.

 Halloween is the signal that the holidays are bearing down on us.  Christmas decor is flooding in to shops and holiday foods abound.  With all the baking to be done, it can be intimidating to find gluten free (GF) substitutes.  This will be my first GF holiday so I'm scared!  I hate going to dinners with friends and family and having to say "I can't eat it" or have to ask what's in everything.  If you are starting a GF diet, wait till the holiday season has died down if you can!  In general, my best advice to anyone thinking about going GF is to start out eating foods that are naturally gluten free (fruit, nuts, veggies, meat, cheese, corn tortillas, rice, etc) for a little while before trying to incorporate substitutes like pasta, crackers, and bread.  Two reasons in my mind: you are less likely to have such a shock to the taste buds if you go from a regular cracker to a rice cracker in the same day, and you can more easily decide what you really need in your diet. (For example: I don't really miss muffins and things like that, so I just don't bother buying the expensive GF muffin mix)

Happy Halloween and here's hoping the holiday season is stress free and fun!

Procrastination and Surprises

I have been doing everything in my power over the last few days, to not complete the tasks I need to for work and crafting.  Yesterday and today I killed some time by tending my garden plants in their tiny, overcrowded beds there over to the right.  (Poor planning for a first time vegetable grower.)

                                        

Yesterday, I was pleased to notice a present (of sorts) for me in the lawn.  I knew what it was from my research on mushrooms for crafting purposes, and I also knew that if my nose wasn't perpetually clogged, I should have been able to smell it from a mile away.  The legendary "stinkhorn" mushroom.  This is a real thing...and it looks like someone has been playing "hide the sausage" in a naughty place.   

(THESE ARE NOT MY PHOTOS:  I FOUND THEM ON THE GOOGLES)  Sadly, I did not have time to snap a photo myself, and when I came back today, it was gone.  I never thought I would get to experience a stinkhorn first hand, but the universe never fails to surprise me.  Next time I see one, I'll be sure to breathe through my mouth and take a picture.  

More Gluten Free Hijinx

Having just come back from a small grocery trip, I feel exhausted.  It really is a pain in the ass.  It just took me 45 minutes to buy 3 bags of groceries, mostly because you have to read just about every label of packaged food that you buy.  There are some items that are gluten free (GF) that are not outwardly labeled as such.  Even things like lunch meat (which you would think was GF) have food starch for filler which will frequently make me sick.  Anything with modified food starch is questionable, unless it specifically says corn starch or potato starch.  Can't eat anything seasoned with soy sauce.  And honestly, you'd be surprised at how many things have wheat or wheat starch that you didn't even realize.  Some brands of wasabi peas/almonds, Starbuck's strawberry and peach yogurts in those parfaits, lunch meats, malt vinegar, fake crab that goes in sushi...I keep finding new things that I can't eat all the time.  

The one thing that I miss:  BEER.  Beer is the only thing I may have cried over, just a little.  There are some great pasta substitutes.  There are some great bread substitutes.  There are some great cracker substitutes.  I like the GF beers, and hard cider is great.  However, I doubt the variety and flavor of GF beer will ever fully compare to the beers I loved. I love weissbiers, lambics, Flemish sours, saisons...the list goes on. I don't know if wine will ever hold the same place in my heart....

For now, I will stick to some Bailey's on ice.

October *used to be* Celiac Awareness Month!

Edit: When I first posted this, I was under the impression that Celiac Awareness month was still in October based on Udi's Facebook and Twitter posts.  Upon further research, it used to be celebrated in October, but the official month is now recognized as May.  Oh well, I'm going to post some things about Celiac issues this month anyway!  

For those of you who might not know, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease this past summer.  It was an interesting route to gain a diagnosis, to say the least.  I will share some of my story. 

The story does not begin with me, but with my mother.  My mother was never diagnosed, but put herself on a gluten free diet after doing elimination tests.  She's been gluten free for over 3 years now, and was a great resource for information.  During conversations with her, I described weird symptoms I was having on a daily basis.  Headaches, joint pain, tingling in my fingers, stomach issues, fatigue, etc.  All of these symptoms are not obvious in themselves, but when they are chronic and happening together, they all point to Celiac Disease or gluten intolerance.  

She moved in with us earlier in the year and we had started incorporating more gluten free items into the menu and pantry on a daily basis.  It wasn't until I had substantially reduced my gluten intake, that my symptoms could be noticeably tied to what I ate.  When I would get a weird symptom or have a day where I felt bad, mom would say "It's the gluten!".  One time, I ate a gluten filled dinner....gorging on pizza, chicken nuggets, and garlic knots.  The next day, I felt like someone had beat me thoroughly with a baseball bat.  

Eventually, I couldn't wait any longer and decided to get the blood test done, even though I didn't have health insurance.  Thankfully the lab the lab that did the blood work only charged me 200 instead of the 800 on the bill they sent!  I got my diagnosis, and simply knowing what was wrong with me was an incredible relief, and entirely worth the money!

In the months that followed diagnosis, I've been entirely gluten free diet to the best of my ability.  In just 2 1/2 months or so, I feel better than I have in 4 years.  

Here's some Celiac facts to help start off awareness month:

• It is estimated that 95% of celiacs are undiagnosed or misdiagnosed with other conditions.  
• There are no pharmaceutical cures for Celiac Disease.  Just a lifelong gluten free diet.
• The average person waits 6-10 years for an accurate Celiac diagnosis.
• Celiacs must not just avoid wheat products—specifically kamut, semolina, durum, spelt, faro, and einkorn—but also rye, barley, and oats.  
  
  More info to come as the month wears on!  
  

Crafting Rage

I have been busy at work with counselor stuff (yeah, that's a technical term), but I have also experienced a bump in sales over at Etsy lately.  These butter earrings have surpassed every other item in my shop as the best seller.  I'm certainly not complaining, but at this point, I'd love to add an extra day each week to get stuff done.  

Lately I am starting to think, if I could spend every day crafting, I might actually be able to make a career out of it.  But getting started on that would involve quitting my job, and that would be extremely scary.  Also, I always wonder if I might start to hate crafting if it was my job.  Once, a long time ago, in a land far, far away, I was an art major in college.  During the course of that year, I started to hate doing art.  Producing work on demand, and to the specifications requested by someone else, can be stressful to say the least.  I was so miserable with performing like a painting monkey, that I didn't create anything for a while after I dropped out.  Right now I enjoy crafting/painting when I can, and there's part of me that is afraid I will ruin it if I try too hard.  

The other layer to this crap cake is that I feel scattered (I am certain I'm not alone in this).  However, I feel like I could be happy doing so many different things in life, that I get stagnant in making choices or moving on from a bad situation.  I have never been super happy in my current job, but none of the other options have felt right to me.  That fact has kept me in an unhappy employment situation for 1 1/2 years now.  I guess the biggest lesson I've learned lately is that making any choice is better than getting stuck in the waiting for something to happen! I may or may not be on the precipice of a big change, but I guess time will tell.   

For now, I will keep releasing frustrations by pushing this button throughout the day.  Enjoy! 

It's a start...

I really don't have any idea what I'm doing...

I don't think anyone really does.  Its all an illusion of knowledge, to give us a feeling of control in life.  Tomorrow, what you know is different than today, and today, you may prove wrong what you were SO sure of yesterday.  I feel like the best thing we could all do as human race, is to acknowledge that we don't really know anything at all.  We're all just muddling through the best we can.  And don't get me wrong, I love life.  I say this with a conviction that life is awesome and keep muddling we must.  That's where the fun is.   

So, on that note, I start this blog.  I don't really know what the purpose of it is.  I may chat about crafting, I may bitch about the hassle of eating gluten free, I may rant about Star Wars or other sci fi topics...I'm not sure if I'll have a real focus yet.  I am interested in so many things, I would find it hard to stick to one area.  I'm off running...lets just hope there's some interesting things along the way...