Crafting, working, crafting!

A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to get noticed by someone who runs the Facebook page for Plants vs. Zombies.  They posted a link to my shop, with pictures of some of my plants!  However, they didn't give me any warning so I was baffled as to how I could have gotten 6 orders in a day, when I barely get 1 a month!  

Well, after the initial rush, some other orders trickled in, and I quickly found myself overwhelmed.  I am SO pleased that other people have enjoyed my idea, and can appreciate hand made items.  I feel like its so much more worthwhile than a plastic toy made in China.  But they do take a good chunk of my time and I definitely want to be consistent about what I produce!  It just would have been nice if the people that promoted my shop could have given me a warning! Lol

Thankfully I'm caught up, just in time to catch up with all the work related paperwork I put off to finish my orders!  I hate paperwork anyway, and it was a convenient excuse to procrastinate on my least favorite work duty.  I just need to spend a few days buckling down to remove this looming cloud of guilt and dread.  

In the meantime, I've been working in re-branding my shop.  Formerly hornsofdestruction, because my old user name was forced as the official shop name, I had titled my shop "Crafty Gamer Girl" thinking I would focus on game items.  My crafting has been much more eclectic, and hornsofdestruction was never intentional.  So I recently chose the name Blue Milk Crafts, due to my love of Star Wars.  Luke Skywalker drinks bantha milk in Episode IV, which is naturally blue...the more you know...I hope that tidbit helps someone win at Trivial Pursuit one day!  

Thus far, I've made a craft email (bluemilkcrafts@gmail.com), ordered new business cards, and made a new, simple shop banner.  It's a good start!  I might try twitter again, but we shall see!  All of the shop progress may need to go on hold in January if I get accepted into the post-masters program I've applied to.

When I think about the future a few months ahead, I get hesitant and unsure.  I don't know where I'm going, following a few breadcrumb trails at the same time.  It's easy to become overwhelmed.  I'm trying to keep an open mind, stay grounded, and maintain my mental and physical wellness...and I think that's all any of us can do when things start to overwhelm us!  

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost."

~Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Taking a break!

I feel the need to break from this blog for a little bit.  I'm going to leave it up and running, and I'll likely come back to it from time to time.  I have not had a lot of time to craft or cook or garden, and I don't have the motivation to write.  I wish I did...but I can't force it.

For now, you can find me on Tumblr, or as I like to call it, "blogging for people with short attention spans".  Tumblr is a great site though.  It allows you to easily connect with people who share the same interests as you, giggle over fandom jokes, and ogle beautiful people/places/things in your feed.   Here it is, come on over and have some fun with me.

I'm also on Facebook for my crafting:  Crafty Gamer Girl (Hornsofdestruction)  Officially, my shop name is Hornsofdestruction because it was my original username.  I have never wanted it as the official shop name....I'm looking at changing it, so if you've got suggestions feel free to comment.  I need ideas, since a lot of what I tried was already taken.

Ok, now you know where to find me.  I'll still keep posting random things when the urge strikes so stay tuned.  :D

Back to Busy for an Introvert

As usual, back to work means less free time, but I also feel like my personal life has been hectic this year.  I'm noticing that during the last 6 months, there have been more family and friend obligations than I have had in a long time.  When you're an introvert, it's hard to not have enough quiet time or alone time.  One event is fine, but if a few social events pile up without a break, it starts to wear me out.

I find that there are a lot of misconceptions of what the word "introvert" really means.  Many people have a tendency to use it synonymously with the words antisocial, awkward, and shy.  I am none of those things.  Of course introversion will manifest itself differently with every person...life is on a continuum and there are varying degrees between extremes.  There are introverts that are ALSO socially awkward, antisocial, and shy...or any combination of those traits.  However, there are also extroverts that are all of these things or a combination of those traits.  

As general definition, I tend to say that introversion means that you lose energy during social interactions, while extroverts gain energy from social interactions.  For me, this means that every time I spend the day with friends or family, I need time where I don't have to interact with anyone for a while.  I feel mentally drained, and sometimes physically.  I enjoy social interactions with the people I love, and I even get lonely every once in awhile, craving a social day.  

This whole concept influences my work as well, since I'm a counselor and a behavior therapist.  I spend my work time engaging with people, and I get frustrated if there isn't down time between clients.  When I get home, I want to lay there like a potato and not speak.  I can't neglect my husband when he's home, but I'm inclined to retreat even from him if I get overworked.  It's a fine balancing act, for an introvert...work in a social environment, and sustain healthy relationships, all while maintaining a personal sense of wellness.  I've realized that I don't do well at anything in my life, if I don't balance my time.  It will be different for everyone, but for me, that means an afternoon or a few hours ever other day where I am not required to talk to people, even my husband.  

Finding balance should be a goal for everyone, introvert or extrovert. Maintaining mental wellness is imperative for everyone.  Here's some points I frequently make with parents of my clients:

• You can't take care of your loved as well as you'd like, or perform in your job as well as you'd like, if you are not taking care of yourself first.  

• It isn't selfish to need down time or personal time, whatever it may mean to you.  A manicure every month, a coffee or ice cream treat once a week, a daily 15 minutes to listen to music or meditate...figure out what you need to feel good, and do it!  "Treat yo self!"  

• Know your limits, and learn to say "NO!" to people (in a nice way, of course).  If you know you won't enjoy a social event because you're tired, don't go!   And don't feel bad about it!  

I know these ideas may seem like common sense, but you'd be surprised how many people I talk to that have trouble with these points.  If you feel overwhelmed, keep these ideas in your head going forward, and I guarantee things will start to shift back into balance.  

A Seller's Rant and a Rupee Project

I have a bit of a perfectionist streak, and I find it difficult to get my clay crafts as perfect as I would like sometimes.  I actually get angry when I look online at some of the poor craftsmanship I find on sites like Etsy, where crafts people are trying to sell clay items that are covered in fingerprints, have visible joints in the clay when it would have been easy to hide with a little extra smoothing, or just look nothing like what they are intended.  I don't want to call anyone out directly, but do a search for something popular like "zelda" on Etsy and I'm positive you'll find some examples.  

There's a huge difference between crafting items I feel like making, versus crafting things with the intention of selling.  There are a few issues to consider when you're thinking about selling your wares.  

The first issue is the concept of easy and consistent production.  A good example to use is my butter earrings.  They are very popular, but they are hard to make.  I hand cut a small stencil for each earring, and stencil the letters, paint the lines, and then have to clean them up and glaze them.  They take a lot of time, and while the sticks of butter themselves are easy to produce, the steps to get to the finished product are tedious.  A more simple design, like the rupees featured below, are easily reproduced and don't require much more work beyond the shaping of the clay.  

The second issue is pricing.  How much is your time as a crafter & creator worth?  Sites like Etsy factor in here as well.  You will find some items that are skillfully crafted with prices that undervalue the time and effort put in, but you will also find some items that are woefully overpriced.  I perused shops that I admire, and used their pricing to get a starting point.  In addition to estimating material costs, I started using a timer for batches of items I make, and paying myself an hourly wage based on that time.  Don't undervalue your time!  Personally, I'd much rather pay $10.00 for a handmade version of a trinket, versus a cheap plastic mass produced version for $5.00.  

The third issue is figuring out the types of items that you can do well, that will also sell.  There area many sellers on Etsy making really cool things, but they don't sell.  People aren't interested, the seller hasn't promoted their stuff, or a combination of the two.  I recently started selling items at a local used video game store, and I've shifted my focus away from mushrooms and moustaches to game related items.  I always created game and Star Wars items, but not regularly.  Now it will be much more of a focus.  

Moral of the story/rant about selling:  Produce quality items, don't undervalue your time, and find a theme that works for you.  

On to the rupee project!  

This was my first time making a mold for clay.  Sculpey sells a mold maker compound, and it's super easy to use if you have something you'd like to reproduce without having to sculpt it every time.  I created a "blank" half of a rupee out of bulk polymer clay.  I made sure it was as close to perfect as I could get it.  Then I pressed it into the mold compound and baked it.  Perfect rupees every time!  

This was the first rupee I made.  I used a metallic shimmer finish on the red clay.  I like the way it came out, but it was a little too metallic instead of looking like a jewel.

For the large batch, I switched to iridescent powder, which certainly changed the look slightly.  I prefer this one, and I think I'll be experimenting with translucent clay in the future to give it even more of a jewel look.

Prepping for glaze!

I highly recommend trying a mold if you have never done it.  It will rock your world.  It would be more difficult with items that have significant details, or if you were planning on doing multiple clay colors in the mold, but it can be done!  Experiment!

I've also continued to crochet in my free time.  Here's the pile of squares I have at the moment.  I have a long way to go, but a little at a time.  I didn't realize it would take 100 squares to make a throw size blanket!

I'm going to go make myself another cup of coffee and clean the house today.  I have one tomato turning ripe, and one pepper...I'm super excited!  More gardening stuff to come!

A day off

Over the weekend I was privileged to be puppy sitting for the cutest corgi ever. If any dear readers are coming over from Facebook, you've already seen the plethora of pictures I took. I couldn't get enough of his little face and fluffy butt.  Here we're my faves:

See! He's the cutest little guy!  He could be a little annoying...I would say that anything that nips at your muffin tops while you're trying to chill on the sofa could easily qualify as "annoying".  But it was a great experience, and I think my husband is much more inclined toward getting a puppy than he was before.

In other news, we had a few days straight here in central VA without rain. It was sunny and hot for the last few days, so I went out to give the veggies a good soaking with the hose.  While I was spraying, a darkish cloud moved overhead and I experienced a really beautiful sun shower.  I could see the line where the rain stopped. Extremely cool and a little zen. I watched the sky for a bit, enjoyed the sun filtering through the crepe myrtles, and took note of all the bug and butterfly activity that was going on around me. It's soothing for me to take a moment to just observe, passively. Listen and look.  Notice the feel of the huge drops of rain.  Then back to watering and pulling weeds!  

I have a pumpkin that is steadily getting bigger. The issue is the fact that my pumpkin plant decided to grow up and over the bunny fence.  I've heard of ways to make a little hammock for trellised acorn squash, so I will have to hunt down some old or cheap hosiery. He's still palm sized and I hope he doesn't fall off before I make a hammock!  

I've also been thinking up ideas for the next round of craft projects. I'm trying to take advantage of extra free time while work is still slow.  Tonight I plotted out the squares for my mother's blanket, since I decided to add in a variation with the colors for a little more interest. Here's my crazy sketch: 

I don't know if any of you other crochet people plan out your blankets like this, but drawing it was annoying. I'd love to hear any tips or tricks if you guys have them!  I need an app for the iPad...

I'm going to try to get some paperwork done tonight too. Taking advantage of that productive feeling while it lasts!

Trying to be healthy is a real pain.

In the last few weeks, I've started working again.  It's been great, even though paychecks are on a month delay...yay....more waiting!  I still have some craft projects to work on though, and since I'm still part time, I will have some time to work on them.

This weekend I get a bit of excitement!  I'm puppy sitting for my sister and her boyfriend.  They have the cutest little corgi puppy and I'm going to convince my husband we need a dog!  (Good luck with that!)

How could you not fall in love with this cuteness?!

The biggest bummer over the last two weeks has been an almost constant headache.  It might go away for a day or two, but I've had a headache for 12 out of the last 19 days.  It was so noticeable, I decided to start tracking my health stuff using this app on my iPad:  Track & Share

So far, the app has been well worth the $5.00.  You can pretty much track whatever you want.  It comes with items (like happiness, stress, sleep) ready to track, that are already set up into different categories (Mood items, Health items, Gratitude Diary, etc), but it's fully customizable and super easy to use.  It even produces a graph for you.  For those of us who like to work with data, it's convenient because I was about to make my own spreadsheet in Excel to track this stuff.

In light of the headaches, and the fact that I don't have health insurance, I've been trying to research what it could be that triggered it.  There are a number of variables at the moment, and it's hard to pinpoint a cause/effect situation.

Issue 1:  I have allergies.  There could be a mold problem in my house, and there is definitely mold at my client's house.  And it's been a surprisingly wet spring/summer.

Issue 2:  I'm back to work after having a few months off.  Stress levels jumped significantly in the first few weeks back, particularly paperwork as I never had a training at the new company.

Issue 3:  I have celiac disease and at least one other autoimmune disorder. It could be any number of things related to that.  I'm pretty positive I haven't been glutened, since we haven't been eating out.  Everything in the house except a single loaf of bread and some frozen biscuits for my husband is gluten free, and the hubs is good at avoiding cross contamination for me.

Issue 4:  I have mild scoliosis.  My mattress isn't good for me, and we were using the guest room mattress until we realized switching it wasn't comfortable for guests either.

Something has to change.  It's hard to get anything done with a headache, nevermind trying to work with kids with autism where you need to be alert.  Soooo....I came up with a plan of action.  Start taking my claritin daily again (I was feeling excessively dry so I stopped).  Stay on top of my paperwork so it doesn't overwhelm me.  Change supplements so that I'm targeting my inflammatory response to different things.  Use a heating pad to help relax my back at night, paired with a cup of hot green tea and some aromatherapy.  Start back with daily yoga.  Switch out the mattress for a better one that my mother left in our attic.

Hopefully that will help get my body back on track!

Hooray for corgi puppies over the weekend!!!

Fun fact:  Welsh folklore says that Corgis are the preferred mounts of fairy warriors!  

Garden update

I still don't know what I'm doing, really.  This is my second year, and I'm still having a hard time figuring out what decimates my smaller plants every time.  Two peppers down and two eggplants destroyed.  Also, cucumbers baffle me.  I can't seem to get them going from seed.  Here's the bed of peps, eggplants, and cukes:

You can kind of see, that I tried a barrier method of chopsticks and bamboo skewers, to help with what I thought were birds picking off leaves.  I still don't know if it's birds, squirrels, or something else....but somehow, my small plants keep dying when I put them out.  I've fertilized with a liquid seaweed fertilizer, and an organic slow release.  We've had a lot of rain lately, so I'm not sure if they're over watered.  But on a more positive note, other things are doing well.

Tomatoes are growing like gangbusters.  I have a bunch of flowers on the cherry and the beefsteak.

I honestly didn't realize how much space a pumpkin plant would need (in the back), and I've definitely got to figure something out so I can keep it till it produces something.  The bush type zucchini is doing well though.

And the last bunch of stuff I've been growing is herbs.  So far, they are mostly in pots.  I'm going to need to transplant the more hardy plants in an herb bed in front of the shed.  The rosemary, lavender and thyme will move there this fall (probably...if I have time and energy).  Then warm weather herbs will get planted in between when the weather gets nice again.  I also bought a cute little bay tree, but he's so small right now that he's staying on the kitchen window sill for a while.  I've been drying lavender for the last two years, and I'm now working on drying some thyme and chocolate mint.  I hope they store well!

Chocolate mint, rosemary, and empty strawberry pot.  My wild wonder strawberries died early.  The chocolate mint has a great flavor.  Much more mild than a peppermint.  I think it will make a great tea.  If you grow mint, be careful.  It is very invasive and best left in pots instead of the ground.

Snap dragons that are looking ragged! English lavender on the left, lemon thyme on the right.  The lemon thyme is awesome...very lemony and a yellow trim on the green leaves.

Dill, basil, and cilantro (coriander). They were getting a little scorched when I had them out by the rosemary and mint, so I moved them to a slightly shadier location (the benefit of pots for annuals). The basil and cilantro keep trying to bolt, but I have been cutting them down so I hope to get some more leaves.

The bain of my gardening existence has been crepe myrtle suckers.  The rosemary/mint pic shows the sheer magnitude of growth on a stump that hasn't been weed whacked recently.  We had a big mess of crepe myrtle, intertwined with some other mystery plants in that area of the yard.  My husband is industrious in his demolition of things, including some of the front bushes, an old dead dogwood, and a row of bushes on the side of the house.  Here's a "during demolition" pic:

As great now that the mess is gone, but there's still a stump, AND I did not get all the roots out when I dug my beds.  Now there are crepe myrtle suckers growing everywhere in the beds, and they are making me crazy.  You can pull them out as much as you want, and they will be back a few days later.  In the fall, I will probably have to re-do the old beds anyway, with different boards...I guess I'll be digging deep for roots too.  The projects never end!

Mushrooms!

I have been meaning to make more mushrooms out of clay, for terrariums or potted plants.  They are a little bit more time consuming, because I paint them by hand to get different effects.  I use a white or terra cotta clay and then prime, paint, and glaze.  I enjoy the red and white mushrooms myself, and it seems that lots of other people enjoy them as well.  I'm going to focus on a series with red and white for a while.

See?  They are fun!

I do enjoy real mushrooms and fungus too.  I try to base any mushroom designs off of real life, but my creations are certainly more stylized. I enjoy taking pictures, whether it's with a crappy cell phone camera, or with a slightly less crappy Sony Cybershot.  Here's a mushroom I found at a client's house two years ago.

"Nature alone is antique, and the oldest art a mushroom."--Thomas Carlyle

Back to work...

My old client FINALLY got re-approved, after 2 1/2 months of waiting.  I'm certainly thankful to have steady income again, but part of me is not excited to return to a job that has a lot of cons.  I had a different post ready to publish, but it was too negative for my liking.  I don't want to wallow in the downsides of my job, because I enjoy the job itself.  The interaction with my clients and their families, is what makes me keep doing what I'm doing.  

Most of my clients are on the autism spectrum, and have low verbal ability.  I have been bitten many times, had clumps of my hair ripped out, had clothes torn, watched a kid eat one of my toys, been spit on, peed on, and dealt with a kid purposefully pooping on the living room floor during a tantrum.  And still there are hugs and squeezes, a kiss on the cheek from a child, a parent saying "Thank you for what you do"...the love that I feel from my clients and their families is overwhelming.  The first time you witness a kid make a full sentence you can understand...just wow...you feel like you've helped make a difference.  And not just a "I make a difference in the world" feeling, but a very specific "I'm making a difference for this kid and his family" kind of feeling.  That is worth all the other junk I have to deal with.  Part time hours, no benefits, lots of driving, working in the evening, tons of paperwork....when I sit down to look at a behavior graph and see a downward trend, it helps me keep going.  I'm smiling as I write this.  

I didn't intend to get into working with kids with autism.  I had graduated with my B.S. in psychology, and wasn't sure what to do with it.  Getting my first full time job at a school for autism seemed like a good step, even though I had little experience with education or special needs kids.  There was certainly a learning curve...for the first month or two, I felt like I needed to quit almost every day.  The job was difficult...stressful and exhausting, with a hint of danger (wearing arm guards and jean jackets to protect from bites and scratches).  I even got hit in the back of the head with a chair when a student threw one.  But I stuck it out...and I've learned and grown through this work.  I am able to stay calm during a crisis and I have more patience than I thought was possible.  I've learned to not hold a grudge (you can't stay mad at a kid who bites you, and then kisses you 5 minutes later), and I've learned that kids will feed off your energy and model everything you do.  This kind of work forces much more self awareness...you have to know when you are starting to get burnt out or need to step away because you're losing your temper.  Growth is never a bad thing, and applies to many other areas of life.

6 years later, I'm still working in the autism field...I know I won't be doing this forever, but what a ride it's been!

I'm crafting more clay items, and I'm still plugging away at my first blanket.  Hopefully I'll have some more craft stuff to post soon!

Frustrated with the Universe.

It happens to the most positive and inherently happy of people....frustration has creeped in.

Things in my career have not worked out the way I planned over the last few months.  It's funny how when someone gets attached to an outcome, the disappointment is felt more deeply.  It's a very Buddhist concept, and one that I've learned the hard way over the years.  Yet, I still occasionally fall into the trap of expecting events to unfold in a particular way.  It is human nature, and a Buddhist would argue, that it isn't our true nature.  It's all part of this brain, body, soul intertwining experience...and the brain and body are able to trick us into believing that they are "where it's at".  That they are the truth.  But they aren't...emotions pass, thoughts are fluid, and the essence of YOU ultimately isn't what you experience through the senses.

Anyway, I'm getting a little too philosophical...back to the original discussion.  Frustration, disappointment, and lessons learned.

I started a position at a new counseling firm, and 2 1/2 months later, I still don't have a client to work with.  That's right, I haven't worked at all for the last few months.  We have clients that are waiting for approval from Medicaid, but until I get an authorization, I can't work with them and don't get paid.  It has been frustrating, to put it mildly.

This position was supposed to be a positive change, a way for me to remove myself from a toxic work environment, and have more opportunities.  I was going to making more hourly, have more freedom within the constraints of Medicaid requirements, etc, etc.  The list of benefits, as perceived by me, can go on and on....

While this change did not manifest itself in the ways that I had planned or expected, it managed to be a positive change in many ways.  I have tried to find meaning in the ways of the universe, and I think I have found some insight into this situation.  Here is what I have learned during this experience:

• I wasn't taking enough time to do things I enjoy, and this forced time off has allowed me time to experiment.  I knew I needed time off from what I was doing to recharge...I'd factored in two weeks of rest, but after the two weeks was over, I still didn't feel rested.  Working with kids with autism can be difficult.  Working as a counselor can be difficult.  Counselors and therapists are frequently burnt out, and a burnt out counselor is not as effective.  

• I was able to remove myself from a toxic work environment.  The anxiety I was feeling was not worth the job security.  I didn't feel supported by my clinical director, and she was focused on money and not the human aspects of the job.  Counselors aim to help people...if you got into this field to make money....well....you're going to be disappointed. 

• My husband and I are able to live off of a lot less money than we thought.  This has not been ideal, financially speaking, but it has been done successfully. I am super grateful for all the comfort we have in life, even when we are "struggling".  We have been able pay all of our bills (mortgage, two car payments, utilities, etc), and still eat well, on one paycheck...with a little frivolous spending left over.  We made some smart financial choices in the last year, and they've paid off.  We lowered our mortgage payment so we could buy a second vehicle.  We canceled our exorbitant cable bill and just pay for internet...with an old school antenna on the plasma TV.  We cancelled a pricey cell phone plan and just deal with 20 bucks a month on iPad data and some pay as you go flip phones.  All of these little things have added up to a significant savings...and I've been thankful for it.

• Avenues of opportunity have opened, even if it was not in the way I anticipated.  The day I quit that job, there was an energy shift.  That same day, I got a call for a position that I'd applied for more than 6 months before.  I've been able to work on items for my Etsy shop.  I have expanded my ideas about what is possible in my career...looking in different cities, applying for a broader range of positions, looking into ways get my license and broaden my expertise. 

The moral of this story is:  when there is no plan, all the potential paths and opportunities are opened up to you.  I feel that the universe, God, whatever you want to call it, gives you opportunities that you can choose to take...or not to...the choice is ours.  We can choose to see them or choose to ignore them and keep going about our business.  

I am still frustrated, but I can see that there is a larger picture unfolding.  The frustration mostly stems from impatience in knowing the outcome of the current events...I'm want to see the results,  instead of waiting to see where these circumstances are leading.  

I will work on staying present, focusing on the "now".  I'm going to take a break to watch and listen to the rain in my garden.  

Plants vs. Zombies Desk Buddies

I finally finished my first attempt at PvZ desk buddies.  I think they turned out pretty fabulous...but I'm biased.  This is one of my favorite games to play when I am bored!  I have all the plants in my in-game zen garden, and I might try to make all the plants for my clay zen garden.  I'm not sure yet!

 I wish I could get the colors on my camera adjusted properly.  I tried many settings and none of them are right.  One of these days, I will buy a better camera.  My camera is an older Sony Cybershot, and I think at this point, the camera on my iPad might be better!  The only issue I have when I take photos of my work, is that any imperfection is magnified.  You notice all kinds of little fuzz and dirt pieces you didn't see before.  I'm determined to have a hepa filtered craft room one day, to help reduce the dust.  A girl can dream!

Anyway, here are the pics.  Enjoy!

Who else is excited about PvZ 2 coming out for iOS soon?!  I can't wait!