Trying to be healthy is a real pain.

In the last few weeks, I've started working again.  It's been great, even though paychecks are on a month delay...yay....more waiting!  I still have some craft projects to work on though, and since I'm still part time, I will have some time to work on them.

This weekend I get a bit of excitement!  I'm puppy sitting for my sister and her boyfriend.  They have the cutest little corgi puppy and I'm going to convince my husband we need a dog!  (Good luck with that!)

How could you not fall in love with this cuteness?!

The biggest bummer over the last two weeks has been an almost constant headache.  It might go away for a day or two, but I've had a headache for 12 out of the last 19 days.  It was so noticeable, I decided to start tracking my health stuff using this app on my iPad:  Track & Share

So far, the app has been well worth the $5.00.  You can pretty much track whatever you want.  It comes with items (like happiness, stress, sleep) ready to track, that are already set up into different categories (Mood items, Health items, Gratitude Diary, etc), but it's fully customizable and super easy to use.  It even produces a graph for you.  For those of us who like to work with data, it's convenient because I was about to make my own spreadsheet in Excel to track this stuff.

In light of the headaches, and the fact that I don't have health insurance, I've been trying to research what it could be that triggered it.  There are a number of variables at the moment, and it's hard to pinpoint a cause/effect situation.

Issue 1:  I have allergies.  There could be a mold problem in my house, and there is definitely mold at my client's house.  And it's been a surprisingly wet spring/summer.

Issue 2:  I'm back to work after having a few months off.  Stress levels jumped significantly in the first few weeks back, particularly paperwork as I never had a training at the new company.

Issue 3:  I have celiac disease and at least one other autoimmune disorder. It could be any number of things related to that.  I'm pretty positive I haven't been glutened, since we haven't been eating out.  Everything in the house except a single loaf of bread and some frozen biscuits for my husband is gluten free, and the hubs is good at avoiding cross contamination for me.

Issue 4:  I have mild scoliosis.  My mattress isn't good for me, and we were using the guest room mattress until we realized switching it wasn't comfortable for guests either.

Something has to change.  It's hard to get anything done with a headache, nevermind trying to work with kids with autism where you need to be alert.  Soooo....I came up with a plan of action.  Start taking my claritin daily again (I was feeling excessively dry so I stopped).  Stay on top of my paperwork so it doesn't overwhelm me.  Change supplements so that I'm targeting my inflammatory response to different things.  Use a heating pad to help relax my back at night, paired with a cup of hot green tea and some aromatherapy.  Start back with daily yoga.  Switch out the mattress for a better one that my mother left in our attic.

Hopefully that will help get my body back on track!

Hooray for corgi puppies over the weekend!!!

Fun fact:  Welsh folklore says that Corgis are the preferred mounts of fairy warriors!  

Garden update

I still don't know what I'm doing, really.  This is my second year, and I'm still having a hard time figuring out what decimates my smaller plants every time.  Two peppers down and two eggplants destroyed.  Also, cucumbers baffle me.  I can't seem to get them going from seed.  Here's the bed of peps, eggplants, and cukes:

You can kind of see, that I tried a barrier method of chopsticks and bamboo skewers, to help with what I thought were birds picking off leaves.  I still don't know if it's birds, squirrels, or something else....but somehow, my small plants keep dying when I put them out.  I've fertilized with a liquid seaweed fertilizer, and an organic slow release.  We've had a lot of rain lately, so I'm not sure if they're over watered.  But on a more positive note, other things are doing well.

Tomatoes are growing like gangbusters.  I have a bunch of flowers on the cherry and the beefsteak.

I honestly didn't realize how much space a pumpkin plant would need (in the back), and I've definitely got to figure something out so I can keep it till it produces something.  The bush type zucchini is doing well though.

And the last bunch of stuff I've been growing is herbs.  So far, they are mostly in pots.  I'm going to need to transplant the more hardy plants in an herb bed in front of the shed.  The rosemary, lavender and thyme will move there this fall (probably...if I have time and energy).  Then warm weather herbs will get planted in between when the weather gets nice again.  I also bought a cute little bay tree, but he's so small right now that he's staying on the kitchen window sill for a while.  I've been drying lavender for the last two years, and I'm now working on drying some thyme and chocolate mint.  I hope they store well!

Chocolate mint, rosemary, and empty strawberry pot.  My wild wonder strawberries died early.  The chocolate mint has a great flavor.  Much more mild than a peppermint.  I think it will make a great tea.  If you grow mint, be careful.  It is very invasive and best left in pots instead of the ground.

Snap dragons that are looking ragged! English lavender on the left, lemon thyme on the right.  The lemon thyme is awesome...very lemony and a yellow trim on the green leaves.

Dill, basil, and cilantro (coriander). They were getting a little scorched when I had them out by the rosemary and mint, so I moved them to a slightly shadier location (the benefit of pots for annuals). The basil and cilantro keep trying to bolt, but I have been cutting them down so I hope to get some more leaves.

The bain of my gardening existence has been crepe myrtle suckers.  The rosemary/mint pic shows the sheer magnitude of growth on a stump that hasn't been weed whacked recently.  We had a big mess of crepe myrtle, intertwined with some other mystery plants in that area of the yard.  My husband is industrious in his demolition of things, including some of the front bushes, an old dead dogwood, and a row of bushes on the side of the house.  Here's a "during demolition" pic:

As great now that the mess is gone, but there's still a stump, AND I did not get all the roots out when I dug my beds.  Now there are crepe myrtle suckers growing everywhere in the beds, and they are making me crazy.  You can pull them out as much as you want, and they will be back a few days later.  In the fall, I will probably have to re-do the old beds anyway, with different boards...I guess I'll be digging deep for roots too.  The projects never end!

Mushrooms!

I have been meaning to make more mushrooms out of clay, for terrariums or potted plants.  They are a little bit more time consuming, because I paint them by hand to get different effects.  I use a white or terra cotta clay and then prime, paint, and glaze.  I enjoy the red and white mushrooms myself, and it seems that lots of other people enjoy them as well.  I'm going to focus on a series with red and white for a while.

See?  They are fun!

I do enjoy real mushrooms and fungus too.  I try to base any mushroom designs off of real life, but my creations are certainly more stylized. I enjoy taking pictures, whether it's with a crappy cell phone camera, or with a slightly less crappy Sony Cybershot.  Here's a mushroom I found at a client's house two years ago.

"Nature alone is antique, and the oldest art a mushroom."--Thomas Carlyle

Back to work...

My old client FINALLY got re-approved, after 2 1/2 months of waiting.  I'm certainly thankful to have steady income again, but part of me is not excited to return to a job that has a lot of cons.  I had a different post ready to publish, but it was too negative for my liking.  I don't want to wallow in the downsides of my job, because I enjoy the job itself.  The interaction with my clients and their families, is what makes me keep doing what I'm doing.  

Most of my clients are on the autism spectrum, and have low verbal ability.  I have been bitten many times, had clumps of my hair ripped out, had clothes torn, watched a kid eat one of my toys, been spit on, peed on, and dealt with a kid purposefully pooping on the living room floor during a tantrum.  And still there are hugs and squeezes, a kiss on the cheek from a child, a parent saying "Thank you for what you do"...the love that I feel from my clients and their families is overwhelming.  The first time you witness a kid make a full sentence you can understand...just wow...you feel like you've helped make a difference.  And not just a "I make a difference in the world" feeling, but a very specific "I'm making a difference for this kid and his family" kind of feeling.  That is worth all the other junk I have to deal with.  Part time hours, no benefits, lots of driving, working in the evening, tons of paperwork....when I sit down to look at a behavior graph and see a downward trend, it helps me keep going.  I'm smiling as I write this.  

I didn't intend to get into working with kids with autism.  I had graduated with my B.S. in psychology, and wasn't sure what to do with it.  Getting my first full time job at a school for autism seemed like a good step, even though I had little experience with education or special needs kids.  There was certainly a learning curve...for the first month or two, I felt like I needed to quit almost every day.  The job was difficult...stressful and exhausting, with a hint of danger (wearing arm guards and jean jackets to protect from bites and scratches).  I even got hit in the back of the head with a chair when a student threw one.  But I stuck it out...and I've learned and grown through this work.  I am able to stay calm during a crisis and I have more patience than I thought was possible.  I've learned to not hold a grudge (you can't stay mad at a kid who bites you, and then kisses you 5 minutes later), and I've learned that kids will feed off your energy and model everything you do.  This kind of work forces much more self awareness...you have to know when you are starting to get burnt out or need to step away because you're losing your temper.  Growth is never a bad thing, and applies to many other areas of life.

6 years later, I'm still working in the autism field...I know I won't be doing this forever, but what a ride it's been!

I'm crafting more clay items, and I'm still plugging away at my first blanket.  Hopefully I'll have some more craft stuff to post soon!

Frustrated with the Universe.

It happens to the most positive and inherently happy of people....frustration has creeped in.

Things in my career have not worked out the way I planned over the last few months.  It's funny how when someone gets attached to an outcome, the disappointment is felt more deeply.  It's a very Buddhist concept, and one that I've learned the hard way over the years.  Yet, I still occasionally fall into the trap of expecting events to unfold in a particular way.  It is human nature, and a Buddhist would argue, that it isn't our true nature.  It's all part of this brain, body, soul intertwining experience...and the brain and body are able to trick us into believing that they are "where it's at".  That they are the truth.  But they aren't...emotions pass, thoughts are fluid, and the essence of YOU ultimately isn't what you experience through the senses.

Anyway, I'm getting a little too philosophical...back to the original discussion.  Frustration, disappointment, and lessons learned.

I started a position at a new counseling firm, and 2 1/2 months later, I still don't have a client to work with.  That's right, I haven't worked at all for the last few months.  We have clients that are waiting for approval from Medicaid, but until I get an authorization, I can't work with them and don't get paid.  It has been frustrating, to put it mildly.

This position was supposed to be a positive change, a way for me to remove myself from a toxic work environment, and have more opportunities.  I was going to making more hourly, have more freedom within the constraints of Medicaid requirements, etc, etc.  The list of benefits, as perceived by me, can go on and on....

While this change did not manifest itself in the ways that I had planned or expected, it managed to be a positive change in many ways.  I have tried to find meaning in the ways of the universe, and I think I have found some insight into this situation.  Here is what I have learned during this experience:

• I wasn't taking enough time to do things I enjoy, and this forced time off has allowed me time to experiment.  I knew I needed time off from what I was doing to recharge...I'd factored in two weeks of rest, but after the two weeks was over, I still didn't feel rested.  Working with kids with autism can be difficult.  Working as a counselor can be difficult.  Counselors and therapists are frequently burnt out, and a burnt out counselor is not as effective.  

• I was able to remove myself from a toxic work environment.  The anxiety I was feeling was not worth the job security.  I didn't feel supported by my clinical director, and she was focused on money and not the human aspects of the job.  Counselors aim to help people...if you got into this field to make money....well....you're going to be disappointed. 

• My husband and I are able to live off of a lot less money than we thought.  This has not been ideal, financially speaking, but it has been done successfully. I am super grateful for all the comfort we have in life, even when we are "struggling".  We have been able pay all of our bills (mortgage, two car payments, utilities, etc), and still eat well, on one paycheck...with a little frivolous spending left over.  We made some smart financial choices in the last year, and they've paid off.  We lowered our mortgage payment so we could buy a second vehicle.  We canceled our exorbitant cable bill and just pay for internet...with an old school antenna on the plasma TV.  We cancelled a pricey cell phone plan and just deal with 20 bucks a month on iPad data and some pay as you go flip phones.  All of these little things have added up to a significant savings...and I've been thankful for it.

• Avenues of opportunity have opened, even if it was not in the way I anticipated.  The day I quit that job, there was an energy shift.  That same day, I got a call for a position that I'd applied for more than 6 months before.  I've been able to work on items for my Etsy shop.  I have expanded my ideas about what is possible in my career...looking in different cities, applying for a broader range of positions, looking into ways get my license and broaden my expertise. 

The moral of this story is:  when there is no plan, all the potential paths and opportunities are opened up to you.  I feel that the universe, God, whatever you want to call it, gives you opportunities that you can choose to take...or not to...the choice is ours.  We can choose to see them or choose to ignore them and keep going about our business.  

I am still frustrated, but I can see that there is a larger picture unfolding.  The frustration mostly stems from impatience in knowing the outcome of the current events...I'm want to see the results,  instead of waiting to see where these circumstances are leading.  

I will work on staying present, focusing on the "now".  I'm going to take a break to watch and listen to the rain in my garden.  

Plants vs. Zombies Desk Buddies

I finally finished my first attempt at PvZ desk buddies.  I think they turned out pretty fabulous...but I'm biased.  This is one of my favorite games to play when I am bored!  I have all the plants in my in-game zen garden, and I might try to make all the plants for my clay zen garden.  I'm not sure yet!

 I wish I could get the colors on my camera adjusted properly.  I tried many settings and none of them are right.  One of these days, I will buy a better camera.  My camera is an older Sony Cybershot, and I think at this point, the camera on my iPad might be better!  The only issue I have when I take photos of my work, is that any imperfection is magnified.  You notice all kinds of little fuzz and dirt pieces you didn't see before.  I'm determined to have a hepa filtered craft room one day, to help reduce the dust.  A girl can dream!

Anyway, here are the pics.  Enjoy!

Who else is excited about PvZ 2 coming out for iOS soon?!  I can't wait!

Gardening and Crafting

Over the last few days, I haven't been doing much else other than gardening and working with my clay.  We have had a LOT of rain, so the storms have impeded the garden progress at times, but I can't help being thankful for the rain.  I only wish we had installed rain barrels already!  

Here is the newest bed:

I know, I'm a little late putting them in the ground.  I had issues getting the seeds started.  Plus, the plants are still a little small, and I was hesitant to put them out too soon.  My smaller, tender, tomatoes were shredded by some unknown force of critter origin...and I didn't want the same to happen to these guys!  I'm hoping now that they are out in the sun and well fertilized dirt, that they will start growing better.

We have our first heirloom Amish Pie Pumpkin!  I'm so excited to make a pumpkin pie with a pumpkin that came out of my yard!  This plant is a little cramped for the beds I have, but I learned my lesson for next year.  A large portion of the front end of the vine snapped when I tried to move it away from the bunny fencing, even with my efforts to be exceptionally gentle.  It eventually rotted apart, and I had to toss it.  I was sad at the loss of two potential baby pumpkins...but that's gardening I guess.  At least it has more room in the bed for the few pumpkins that have started already!

Here's one of the bunnies we have in the neighborhood.  There are a few, and I've seen two at a time roaming through the yard while gorging themselves on our dandelion field (aka the back yard).    I enjoy watching them, so I haven't wanted to repel them.  But I was super paranoid about them getting into the beds, hence the bunny fence.  However, I was reading that bunnies tend to stay out of raised beds anyway, due to fear of putting themselves in a vulnerable position.  Even so, I'd rather be safe than sorry...and the fence still serves a good purpose:  it keeps some of the roaming neighborhood cats from pooping in my beds!  Cleaning someone else's pet's poop piles out of my garden beds, was not something I was expecting...

Most recent crafty endeavors have involved working on some video game themed items.  I just finished up some Plants vs. Zombies based desk buddies.  I've gotten some really good feedback on these, so I'll be making more soon.  This is one of my all time favorite games, which I keep on my iPad and my PC.  I sucked my husband into playing as well, and he's taking to playing on the iPad while we're settling in bed for the night.

These pics are while they are still in progress.  I'll be posting some "formal" pics when I finish up the touch ups and sealing.  I've got a big pile of baked clay items to paint and seal, which I can hopefully get done this weekend.