Crafting, working, crafting!

A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to get noticed by someone who runs the Facebook page for Plants vs. Zombies.  They posted a link to my shop, with pictures of some of my plants!  However, they didn't give me any warning so I was baffled as to how I could have gotten 6 orders in a day, when I barely get 1 a month!  

Well, after the initial rush, some other orders trickled in, and I quickly found myself overwhelmed.  I am SO pleased that other people have enjoyed my idea, and can appreciate hand made items.  I feel like its so much more worthwhile than a plastic toy made in China.  But they do take a good chunk of my time and I definitely want to be consistent about what I produce!  It just would have been nice if the people that promoted my shop could have given me a warning! Lol

Thankfully I'm caught up, just in time to catch up with all the work related paperwork I put off to finish my orders!  I hate paperwork anyway, and it was a convenient excuse to procrastinate on my least favorite work duty.  I just need to spend a few days buckling down to remove this looming cloud of guilt and dread.  

In the meantime, I've been working in re-branding my shop.  Formerly hornsofdestruction, because my old user name was forced as the official shop name, I had titled my shop "Crafty Gamer Girl" thinking I would focus on game items.  My crafting has been much more eclectic, and hornsofdestruction was never intentional.  So I recently chose the name Blue Milk Crafts, due to my love of Star Wars.  Luke Skywalker drinks bantha milk in Episode IV, which is naturally blue...the more you know...I hope that tidbit helps someone win at Trivial Pursuit one day!  

Thus far, I've made a craft email (bluemilkcrafts@gmail.com), ordered new business cards, and made a new, simple shop banner.  It's a good start!  I might try twitter again, but we shall see!  All of the shop progress may need to go on hold in January if I get accepted into the post-masters program I've applied to.

When I think about the future a few months ahead, I get hesitant and unsure.  I don't know where I'm going, following a few breadcrumb trails at the same time.  It's easy to become overwhelmed.  I'm trying to keep an open mind, stay grounded, and maintain my mental and physical wellness...and I think that's all any of us can do when things start to overwhelm us!  

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost."

~Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Frustrated with the Universe.

It happens to the most positive and inherently happy of people....frustration has creeped in.

Things in my career have not worked out the way I planned over the last few months.  It's funny how when someone gets attached to an outcome, the disappointment is felt more deeply.  It's a very Buddhist concept, and one that I've learned the hard way over the years.  Yet, I still occasionally fall into the trap of expecting events to unfold in a particular way.  It is human nature, and a Buddhist would argue, that it isn't our true nature.  It's all part of this brain, body, soul intertwining experience...and the brain and body are able to trick us into believing that they are "where it's at".  That they are the truth.  But they aren't...emotions pass, thoughts are fluid, and the essence of YOU ultimately isn't what you experience through the senses.

Anyway, I'm getting a little too philosophical...back to the original discussion.  Frustration, disappointment, and lessons learned.

I started a position at a new counseling firm, and 2 1/2 months later, I still don't have a client to work with.  That's right, I haven't worked at all for the last few months.  We have clients that are waiting for approval from Medicaid, but until I get an authorization, I can't work with them and don't get paid.  It has been frustrating, to put it mildly.

This position was supposed to be a positive change, a way for me to remove myself from a toxic work environment, and have more opportunities.  I was going to making more hourly, have more freedom within the constraints of Medicaid requirements, etc, etc.  The list of benefits, as perceived by me, can go on and on....

While this change did not manifest itself in the ways that I had planned or expected, it managed to be a positive change in many ways.  I have tried to find meaning in the ways of the universe, and I think I have found some insight into this situation.  Here is what I have learned during this experience:

• I wasn't taking enough time to do things I enjoy, and this forced time off has allowed me time to experiment.  I knew I needed time off from what I was doing to recharge...I'd factored in two weeks of rest, but after the two weeks was over, I still didn't feel rested.  Working with kids with autism can be difficult.  Working as a counselor can be difficult.  Counselors and therapists are frequently burnt out, and a burnt out counselor is not as effective.  

• I was able to remove myself from a toxic work environment.  The anxiety I was feeling was not worth the job security.  I didn't feel supported by my clinical director, and she was focused on money and not the human aspects of the job.  Counselors aim to help people...if you got into this field to make money....well....you're going to be disappointed. 

• My husband and I are able to live off of a lot less money than we thought.  This has not been ideal, financially speaking, but it has been done successfully. I am super grateful for all the comfort we have in life, even when we are "struggling".  We have been able pay all of our bills (mortgage, two car payments, utilities, etc), and still eat well, on one paycheck...with a little frivolous spending left over.  We made some smart financial choices in the last year, and they've paid off.  We lowered our mortgage payment so we could buy a second vehicle.  We canceled our exorbitant cable bill and just pay for internet...with an old school antenna on the plasma TV.  We cancelled a pricey cell phone plan and just deal with 20 bucks a month on iPad data and some pay as you go flip phones.  All of these little things have added up to a significant savings...and I've been thankful for it.

• Avenues of opportunity have opened, even if it was not in the way I anticipated.  The day I quit that job, there was an energy shift.  That same day, I got a call for a position that I'd applied for more than 6 months before.  I've been able to work on items for my Etsy shop.  I have expanded my ideas about what is possible in my career...looking in different cities, applying for a broader range of positions, looking into ways get my license and broaden my expertise. 

The moral of this story is:  when there is no plan, all the potential paths and opportunities are opened up to you.  I feel that the universe, God, whatever you want to call it, gives you opportunities that you can choose to take...or not to...the choice is ours.  We can choose to see them or choose to ignore them and keep going about our business.  

I am still frustrated, but I can see that there is a larger picture unfolding.  The frustration mostly stems from impatience in knowing the outcome of the current events...I'm want to see the results,  instead of waiting to see where these circumstances are leading.  

I will work on staying present, focusing on the "now".  I'm going to take a break to watch and listen to the rain in my garden.